He may be the 45th President of these United States, but he isn’t my president. And he never will be.

Some people I know have been bemused and unsettled by the fact that I despise this man.  But none of these people who question me ever question the hatred, anger, narcissistic, immature behavior of the man who was elected president.  None question his midnight, into early morning, Tweets. None question his lies or his deceit.

Yet, I’m constantly being told that I need to “watch my mouth” (which I don’t), and that I should give this man a “chance” (which I won’t) and that I should “respect” the President. (Um. No. I have no respect for any man who brags about grabbing pussy, extols his desire to date his daughter and makes fun of the disabled)

Others I know have told me that it seems like I am taking my intense dislike for this man to a personal level. And it is personal.

The man who is “your” president is basically my drunken ex-husband.  He is a bully.  He is abusive, both emotionally and physically.  He is a man who loves to hear himself talk, and who thinks and believes he knows more than anyone else on earth.  The problem with this man, his actions won’t affect just one family.  His actions will affect an entire country and world.

My grandparents came here from Ireland for a better life. The America they came to was an America that welcomed people from all walks of life.  They came over here just before 1920—after the Great War and before the Great Depression.

When they arrived, they were not treated as well as one would expect. They worked hard as domestics and they assimilated. They became Americans, and as working class people, they passed on a stellar work ethic to their children.  hoping for a better life with jobs that provide security,

My dad had a very secure job. He was a New York City Police officer. He was a blue collar man in every sense of the word.  My mother stayed home caring for five children. My parents gave my siblings and me strong values, a sense of right and wrong, a sense of community and a stellar work ethic. We were taught to respect everyone. We were taught to treat others the way we would want to be treated.

We attended both Catholic and public schools. In Catholic school, my value system was validated and I was taught by very liberal nuns who made sure we all treated others with kindness and equality.  In public school, I learned about diversity and what a wonderful world diversity brings forth. I take my values seriously. We were taught that if someone is different, you do not make fun of them or put them down, you embrace them.

We grew up in a middle-class town.  We were not privileged, nor were we underprivileged.  We were basically, like everyone else back then, in the middle. When I had children of my own I passed along my values, and those values, along with love and open conversation, helped mold my children into the caring, empathetic, generous and successful adults they have become. During a bad time in my life, when I was going through a divorce, my children gave me strength and hope.

I’ve always thought that people, in general, were good and kind and empathetic. I thought most people treated others with respect. Then Donald Trump decided to run for President.

I didn’t like him from the beginning.  When I lived in Manhattan as an adult, the City was going through changes. There were certain areas of NYC that were sort of “off limits” to “nice” people.  Those were the areas I loved.  I loved the seediness.  I loved the fact that nothing was perfect.  And I loved the people – everyone had a story.

The Upper West Side was also going through changes. I lived on 94th and Riverside Drive. It was a borderline area that, luckily for me, was still rather inexpensive.  Around the corner from the building I lived in was an SRO. Otherwise known as a single room occupancy building.  Drunks and druggies lived in this building. And guess what? They were great guys!

During the winter of 1983 I was pregnant with my first child. We had a brutal winter that year, but every night one of the guys from the SRO would be waiting at the corner of Broadway and 94th street to walk me home from my subway exit.  I’m not kidding! I was greeted with “Miss Lady—how you doin”? And as we walked up the street, we would always have good conversations that mostly ended with me telling them to take care and giving them some change for cigarettes or cheap wine.  When I got new furniture—guess who took the old?  It was a nice time.

Then slowly developers began to buy up all the seedy buildings and the city shed the old ragged facades for sleek and shiny ones. Developers like the young tycoon Donald Trump began to take over the diverse city.

Trump and other developers turned Manhattan from a city that had defined borders of the poor, the middle class, and rich neighborhoods into an island of new money’d, somewhat arrogant and snobby shufflers who seemed to lack heart and substance.

Trump was his own public relations team; he was everywhere. I swear, The New York Post would have gone under if they couldn’t report on his everyday life.

He was arrogant. He was narcissistic. He had a big mouth. He was a media wet-dream, even back then.  He bought buildings for next to nothing and turned them into homes that forced the middle class to flee Manhattan for towns like Pearl River and over the bridge to Paramus, New Jersey.

He, along with his wife Ivana, were everywhere.  I remember the exact spot I was in when the news about “The Donald” – which he referred to himself as – and the Marla Maples scandal that destroyed his marriage broke.  I was waiting for my sons to be let out of school for the day from St. Ignatius Loyola School, on the corner of Park Avenue and 84th Street.

A photograph of him and Ms. Maples at a ski resort was splashed across the newspapers. It looked like a confrontation, and it would become a New York media storm.  I thought he was a fool then, and I still think the same today.

This is the man who caused the exodus of the middle class from the City I loved and lived in. I was one of the people who was forced to leave due to the rising cost of housing. This self-absorbed developer didn’t care about the families that had to move to parts unknown.  This uncaring man didn’t care about those who lived in SRO’s and would now be among the city’s homeless. He only cared about himself, his ego, and in his own mind, how great he was.

Over the years, I’ve read about his unethical business dealings and his many failures. I’ve read how horribly he treats people. I’ve watched him on local news programs, forcefully speaking down to people and building himself up.  He’s an unlikeable person with a penchant for stretching the truth. I’d call him a professor of practicing the fine art of lying.

Even as unlikeable as he has been, the media has always loved him and people have found him entertaining. Because as bad as he is, he is a charismatic man. You don’t have to be kind and happy and wonderful to be charismatic. Adolf Hitler was charismatic too. So, when “The Donald” began entertaining thoughts of running for President of these United States, many people thought it was a joke

Then things got weird and Trump became more outspoken. He became more arrogant. He spread lies about Hillary Clinton.  He began to plant the seed of fear into the hearts of the undereducated.  He reached out to the “salt of the earth,” those who cannot accept anyone who isn’t like they are.  He struck a chord with people who felt that everyone else has it better than they do.

This man, who used to be a Democrat, was now a Jesus-loving, bible bangin’ godly man. Yes, even though he bragged about grabbing women by the pussy and making fun of the disabled, he had fans in Jesus country because those on the far right have a Jesus who isn’t like my Jesus. Their Jesus hates gays, Jews, Muslims, transgenders, blacks, Hispanics and anyone who doesn’t follow their ideologies.

These are the people who feel that anyone on a government program, even programs that we all pay into, are lazy bums.  They call themselves pro-life, when all they are, is simply pro-fetus. Once that fetus pops out and enters the world, they could care less about the child’s life. These are the hateful and angry people who voted for, and continue to support, the 45th President.

These are the people who wanted Michelle Obama lynched for wearing a sleeveless shell sweater, yet they embraced Trump’s wife who posed for light porn photos and starred in a few soft porn videos. Is there something hypocritical here?

Donald Trump unleashed an entire sub-culture of Americans. He allowed anger and hatred to be the norm. He alone caused our America to regress. We made such great strides against racism in the sixties. We made great strides for women. We made great strides for the gay community.

And now—it’s all over because of one man.

But you know, the press is also to blame. The press normalized him because of their greed for ratings. While our journalists and news media were raising the bar for Clinton, they were lowering it for Trump.  The media was vicious when it came to televising and writing about the email scandal and Benghazi. Hillary Clinton is a strong woman in many, many ways.

They failed to report about Trumps failures and how he treated people and how he lied and conned.  They never reported about how Trump avoided the draft, yet played college football. The press never pressured Trump about his tax evasion because they were afraid of him. They were afraid to lose ratings. The journalists are just as responsible for placing Trump into the White House as his supporters are, and it angers me.  It angers me that someone as hateful and vengeful towards people in business dealings and real life was elected President of a beautiful and already great country who welcomed all with open arms.

I’ve become a different person since this person was elected. I’ve become hateful and angry – feelings that my value system didn’t believe in. I’ve become exclusive. I want nothing to do with anyone who voted for this man.  I’ve dismissed family members. I’ve dismissed those whom I had been friends with.  I’ve become bitter and hopeless.

It is as though every day I walk with a dark cloud hovering over me. I no longer trust people except for those I have chosen to remain in my circle. I have given up hope because every day seems to bring forth more hatred.

It saddens me that this vile, deceitful man has been elected President of these United States and it saddens me that those politicians who now support him – the Republicans – where only months ago were speaking of how incapable he is.  It proves what a bunch of spineless, hypocritical, selfish people the Republican party is made of.

What happened to empathy? What happened to respect? What happened to kindness? What happened to caring? What happened to the values of these American people?  What happened to equality and helping others in need? What happened to embracing our foreign refugees? What happened to our great America?

Donald Trump happened. Trump is the worst disease a country and her people could suffer.

Guest Contributor