Football season in DC. Not sure what quarter we’re in, but the Democrats are at 4th down and are about to punt. Ball control returns to the Republicans. They have decided they want a freshman quarterback who has never played the game and never been an athlete. He sells football jerseys for a living and refuses to take advice from any coach. The team has never played together and are experts at mob games.

Meanwhile the Democrats are preparing for a fumble and plan to hold the opponent to four downs only. The playing field is wet, slippery and not clearly marked. The commentators are obsessed with the tight ends and wide receivers.

The Republicans have an injured list of 16 players while the Democrats have two. The referees are one judge short and the playback cameras are down. In the stands, the fans are confused about how to do the wave and nearly half of them are still outside at the tailgate party arguing about last week’s game.

[Roll the Bud commercial about the puppy and the pony… make everyone feel good!]

Is this any way to run a Super Bowl?